


Stars

by garrisoncas (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabbles, M/M, No Plot, i guess, its 1am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 16:31:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8020993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/garrisoncas
Summary: this is actually my first deancas fic so it's kinda bland (and probably OOC... rip me) :/ while I was writing this I imagined it in season 8 but it can pretty much be at anytime. (i'm pretty much always mad at dean so i have to remind myself that He's Mad At Himself To, and He Blames Himself too.)





	Stars

**Author's Note:**

> this is actually my first deancas fic so it's kinda bland (and probably OOC... rip me) :/ while I was writing this I imagined it in season 8 but it can pretty much be at anytime. (i'm pretty much always mad at dean so i have to remind myself that He's Mad At Himself To, and He Blames Himself too.)

"There. That one. Polaris, I think they called it." Cas said, pointing up to the starry sky. "Currently, humans should be unable to explain why it grows brighter and brighter. Why it surpassed the previous North Star. It's my favorite of all the stars I've created." 

Dean studied the side profile of Cas's face in barely contained wonder. They were both sitting propped up against the side of the impala, staring at the sky. Distantly, he felt he should probably be embarrassed of how sappy this was, but he couldn't think of a reason why. Not now, not when everything was so peaceful and warm. He did this sort of thing with Sam all the time, but it was different with Cas. It was always different with Cas.

Cas, supposedly wondering why Dean was saying nothing, turned his head to lock eyes. He looked vaguely surprised at his expression but recovered quickly. Dean wanted to look away, like some kind of teenager caught staring at his crush, but he didn't. He was allowed this, wasn't he?

Cas was old. He never really shared how old, but Dean suspected it was more than just a couple thousand years. He gave birth to stars and watched civiliazations rise and fall from above. He watched as humanity waved their tiny swords and rushed into the glory of war, while he battled cosmic battles and pulled humans out of the ground. He's seen galaxies and walked through afterlives like they were a friends home. Yet he finds something so interesting and wonderous in Dean. He stays with Dean. He chooses Dean over a celestial life that Dean can't even hope to comprehend. 

The enormity of it terrifies him. He doesn't understand it, and he doesn't ask Cas to explain it. 

"Dean?" Cas asked uncertainly. Dean snapped back to reality, to those big blue eyes. "Are you alright?" 

"Yeah, Cas, I'm good. I just... You never talk to me about like, this angel stuff." He tilted his head up to look back at the sky. "It's weird. You're actually an _angel._ Like, you make stars and... It's amazing." _You're amazing._ He swallowed the unspoken down. He hadn't even meant to say that much.

He could feel Cas's gaze softening. "I'm actually an angel? What did you think I was?" Dean laughed and looked back into Cas's eyes. He knocked his arm with his own, a gesture he hoped Cas would read as pride, because _Cas made a joke._ Cas was smiling now. Dean felt a little drunk.

"Um. Cas. Why don't you ever tell me this stuff?" 

"Well. You don't... Ask." That hurt a little. Dean looked away. "But also... Can I be honest here?" He got a nod, and continued, "A part of me, perhaps, doesn't want you to know. About the life I lived before... You." Dean swallowed. "I don't want you to feel guilty, like you've taken it away from me. Because you haven't." 

Something like guilt and maybe anger at himself bubbled up inside Dean and he tried not to let it take over. Imagines of an emotional blonde angel filled his head, and he failed. "But how have I not! Your angel friend made it clear that it was my fault you fell and it - it really isn't that hard to put together-" 

"Dean. I'm more than old enough to make my own decisions. Yes, I did it for you, but I'm not going to blame you for my choice, and you shouldn't either. I'm proud. Of myself. For listening to you, for making my own path. While I've made so many mistakes and done so much I regret, I don't regret the cause. I don't regret splitting from Heavens path and doing what's right." The urge to kiss him suddenly replaced his previous negative emotions. He didn't know if he could do that, though. They haven't talked about this yet. 

Something in Dean's expression must've clued Cas in, _like it always does, he always knows he knows_ , and Cas reached a hand over to cup his jaw (the opposite to the side he touched when he healed him back at the crypt, Dean noted absently) and leaned in to kiss him.


End file.
